Monday, March 29, 2010


cozen\KUZ-un\ , transitive verb:
1. To cheat; to defraud; to deceive, usually by petty tricks.
2. To obtain by deceit.

There they were again, and the cat snuck somehow into the gaps between their legs. Her small bed left little room for space apart. The heat could only build; their skin could only stick together. There were attempts to spread out but the cat prohibited such movement. She did not like to disturb it when it chose to curl up beside her, usually at her feet, making it difficult to move. Even if it created some awkward positions, for her, that was love.
Against the heat, the most they could do was push the comforter back and flip their pillows over. The radiators had kicked on at some time during the night and she imagined she could see the shimmering coils of heat rising along the walls in the darkness. Already too warm from the early Spring weather outside, the apartment would soon be a sauna.
She heard him moan next to her. Although asleep, she was certain he could feel the rise in temperature. She hoped it would not wake him. She valued her time alone during these visits, letting her thoughts roam, feeling the deep breaths of the cat against her calf, the beating of her heart, the throbbing of her head, and now the gathering sweat on top of what had dried from before.
Feeling dirty but not any regret, she thought of how she would get up in the morning at the sound of her alarm and go to the bathroom, brush her teeth and take a shower, and how when she opened the door and the steam raced out, he would already be gone. Making an effort at a kind gesture, he would have made the bed, and the next time she saw him - if she saw him - she would remember this and thank him, thinking how this proved the deep-down goodness of his person and it would be possible that something so simple could lead them there again.